My business here is done.

The good, the bad and the ugly. That's what I've tried to bring to those of you who followed me throughout this process and I think this last entry from the bottom of the world will have a touch of all of those. While I'll admit that it's been hard to write as much as I should, I like to think I've been nothing but honest and open about the experience so far so here it goes, one more time.

In addition to around 350 new friends on Facebook, I'm taking many things away from Punta Arenas, Chile. I'm taking amazing memories of some of the most beautiful landscapes I'll ever see in my life. I got a chance to go to El Calafate again with Marie's family, who happens to be visiting from the good ol' USA, this past weekend and I was once again blown away by being so close to the dumbfounding Perito Moreno Glacier. It's one small example of how something as natural and untainted as a huge piece of ice can completely trump any 3D special effect in any movie you'll ever see. Patagonia has threatened me with intense storms, icy streets and sidewalks and wind that makes you wish you didn't have a face but it's also rewarded me threefold by offering sights that defy words. Saying they're beautiful and breathtaking simply doesn't do enough. You have to see for yourself.

As cliche as this sounds, I'll be taking away some lessons about who I thought I was and what I think I need to be moving forward. Coming to Chile with the English Opens Doors program gave me the opportunity to live inside a community with a host family that would show me what these people are really about. I pictured myself really getting to know these people and spending almost all my time with them. Unfortunately, that didn't happen. While blame cannot be placed on any one side of that problem, I do feel that circumstances outside my control contributed to me having an experience that didn't go quite as well as it could have. My problems really were minor considering other volunteers had to deal with families that wouldn't even feed them at times but mine were problems nonetheless.

It's fair to say that my life was pretty hot and cold here. During the day, I was a small scale teen idol at school that everyone seemed to care about. Everything I did, said and asked was noticed, examined and questioned. While at home, I felt like the invisible man. As I sit here in my room alone as the clock approaches almost ten o'clock and wonder why we aren't having some sort of last dinner together before I leave first thing in the morning, I'm forced to think about how we got here. I will admit that I'm not a easy person to get close to. It takes time and patience. I'm afraid neither was afforded to me by most of the adults I met while here. I definitely would classify people here as nice and polite but I wouldn't go as far as saying they were caring or welcoming. The language barrier certainly didn't do anyone any favors and it's a shame that I leave this place feeling as though they never really got to know the real me. Now I know I'm not a bad person. A lot of people that I really respect and enjoy seem to like me back so I refuse to think there's something terribly wrong with me. I was never anything but polite, positive and relaxed so the reason for the occasional cold shoulders that I receive here eludes me. No one ever told me about any issues. I feel as though the family I lived with had very busy lives that kept them away from the house quite often. Unfortunately, I wasn't able to develop the same sort of busy life so I found myself sitting in my room studying Spanish with a computer instead. I don't want this to sound as though I'm bad mouthing the host family I stayed with. I truly bear no hard feelings and I wish them nothing but continued happiness and success. I'm extremely grateful the roof, bed, food and comfort that I was lucky to enjoy for the last 8 months but most of the time I felt like an obligation instead of an addition at home. That sucks.

I could have done more. I could have forced myself into more situations and done a better job to show that I wanted to be in the thick of things. I should have. I regret not being more demonstrative and emotive when the opportunities presented themselves. My hesitation was due to the language difficulties, the hurry everyone always seemed to be in and my own deficiencies when it comes to self confidence and pride. It was just a tough match when it came to me and them. The situation called for someone who is willing to literally call for attention and that has never been, and never will be, me. I completely understand why that sort of thing was necessary here but I also don't think there's anything wrong with me for not being able to be that way. We just never found our balance.

On the bright side, I sincerely hope that this experience will allow me to appreciate the people that care about me more than I ever did before. It's easy to take those people for granted until their 7,000 miles away. I can't wait to see my family in a few weeks. Their loving words were always refreshing and I appreciated their emails more than they know. It also applies to someone that was right here with me. Marie has been, and will continue to be, the most important person in the world to me. Her never ending support and genuine sweetness deserves more appreciation than I could ever hope to show. I can't wait to see what the coming months hold for us. Finding her has been the best part of coming to Chile, sin duda.

On that note, it's time to check out of Punta Arenas. I went swimming in the Strait of Magellan today with another volunteer, Chris, and ex-volunteer, Nathaniel, who happened to be passing through town. It was officially the last item on my list of things to do here in the south. Not a bad way to go out, I'd say.

It was cold and difficult but I'm extremely glad I did it.

Mi discursito

Today was my last day of class. How this day arrived so quickly is beyond my realm of comprehension. They had a small assembly with the high schoolers (which represents most of my students) where they gave me the opportunity to say a few words to the girls I've been working with this year. Some of the girls also came up and said a few thank yous and gave me gifts. I even got a little planner with daily quotes from the bible from the head nun... not sure what I'm going to do with that.

At any rate, it was a great day that also was quite sad. I've said it before and I'll say it again. The students are what made me keep going. Without them, I'm not sure I would have made it. It certainly wouldn't have been nearly as fun or rewarding. Whenever I was out of my mind with stress about teachers/home/the Chilean educational system/Spanish, the students are the thing that brought a smile to my face. For that, I'll always hold their memory in a special part of my heart. I know that sounds quite mushy but I've been lucky to have students that seemed to enjoy my company so much. They made my job easier and made my life better.

Anyway, in an effort to preserve the memory of the day, I thought I'd post what I said at the end of our assembly. I'm not going to lie, I had to fight off some tears towards the end. If you can't read Spanish, I guess you'll have to ask me to explain next time you see me... or you can try your luck at translate.google.com.

Primero, quiero decir gracias... muchisma gracias a todos. No puedo agradecerles lo suficiente. Siempre ustedes me han hecho sentir bienvenido y querido. Por eso, voy a tener nada más que recuerdos fantasticos.

Aprender un nuevo idioma es dificil y el aprendizaje de la vida en un pais extranjero es más dificil. A veces me sentía mal porque todo parecío extraño pero siempre ustedes me hicieron sentir mejor con sus palabras buenas y sonrisas hermosas. La verdad es que yo no lo habria logrado sin ustedes.

Yo vine por enseñar ingles y aprender castellano. Mientras espero que todos han aprendido algo de Inglés, realmente espero que todos hemos aprendido algo acerca del mundo. Es mucho más pequeño que todos pensamos. Yo creo que no somos tan diferentes.

Ustedes han sido bendecidos de vivir en un pais hermoso con mucha variedad. Hay que aprovecharlo y verlo. Haganme un favor y disfruten de la belleza que tienen a su alrededor, porque la mayoría de las personas en este mundo no tienen tanta suerte.

Hay un dicho en Inglés que, más o menos, dice “Paso a paso, puede llegar muy lejos”. Deseo que todos tienen el valor y la fortuna de dar muchos pasos en sus vidas. Si los pasos que se dan a los Estados Unidos, recuerda que siempre tendrán un amigo alla.

De nuevo, muchas gracias por todo. Aunque soy de un pais que está muy lejos, una parte de mi siempre será de Magallanes.

To live in a postcard...

The W has been completed. After 6 days of walking totaling around 65 miles traveled, I can unequivocally say that Torres del Paine was an amazing experience that borders on indescribable. Yet I find myself sitting here trying to describe it...

Obligatory ''before'' shot.

Going into Torres del Paine, I wasn't necessarily a rookie. I've been on countless camping trips with my dad, friends and, somewhat regrettably, the Boy Scouts. Setting up tents, rolling up sleeping bags and making sure your head is uphill before you fall asleep are all things I've done many times and have no hesitations about doing. However, I cannot say the same in terms of hiking and trekking... especially for a 6 day trek through one of the more famous national parks in the world. I knew the basics of what I'd need and what kind of experience to expect when sleeping on the ground for consecutive nights but I had no idea just how tough some of it would be. Trekking through the park was probably the most physically demanding thing I've ever done. Of course, there have been times when I've been more tired or worn out in the short term (for example, after long runs or soccer games) but this trek really introduces you to a new level of tired. Walking up and down hills with a pack for 6-7 hours will wear you out even if it's just for one day. If you have to then sleep on the cold ground and get up in the morning ready to do it again, it really starts to break you down. I had the unfortunate fortune of needing to buy a backpack before the trip. For the same reason that you shouldn't buy a new pair of shoes before running a marathon, you shouldn't buy a backpack the day before you leave for a trekking trip. My back and neck were hurting pretty badly after the second day but they eventually toughened up and I was fine by the end. Despite all the physical pain, I managed to have a great time seeing some of the most beautiful things these eyes have ever seen. I think it's appropriate for me to now break the news that I don't have any pictures that. In a strange twist of fate, my camera battery freaked out the night before we left and wouldn't recharge. All the pictures seen here are borrowed from Marie.

We started near Lago Pehoe which is that glacier greenish-blue color that you really have to see to believe. It looks like the color of the ponds at miniature golf courses... that really makes it sound crappy, doesn't it? At any rate, I did lots of obligatory rock skipping and water watching while nestled right next to the massive Paine Grande mountain that holds a few of the glaciers that provide the lake with water.

Paine Grande on the left. Los Cuernos on the right.

From there, we moved around Paine Grande to the absolutely immense Glaciar Grey. A couple of the guys and I decided to take a swim in the lake, justly named Lago Grey. I figured it might be the only chance I get to swim in a lake with a glacier so the hypothermia that threatened seemed worth the risk. Needless to say, it was cold. I was hoping to last at least a couple minutes. As I waded in and felt all the muscles in my body lock up and noticed I was having a hard time yelling to express how cold it was because my lungs wouldn't expand like they're accustomed to, I decided the possibility of literally freezing and bobbing up and down in the lake with the rest of the icebergs wasn't what I wanted from my future. So I lasted a grand total of 25 seconds.




Day 3 brought the unenviable task of walking back around Paine Grande to a campsite sandwiched between it and Los Cuernos del Paine. Because of the shape of the W, there are parts you have to walk twice and I found these parts the most difficult because the excitement of turning a corner and seeing something you haven't seen before doesn't exist anymore. Those hikes just felt like work. We awoke the next day to walk further up between the two peaks into the Valle del Frances. Reaching the end of that trail may have been the most scenic spot of all. You were surrounded by snowcapped peaks, rivers, forest and glaciers. You could also look back out over the southern horizon and see lakes, islands and distant mountain ranges. It was incredible. After descending back to the campsite we had to move around the base of Los Cuernos to another campsite that was tucked right under them. I have to say I like Los Cuernos more than Las Torres, for which the park is named. There's just something about their colors and sharpness that are more striking to me.




Day 5 may have been the most difficult day to complete. That was partly due to the never ending sloping hills that needed to be conquered and also due to the blistering temperatures. It couldn't have been much warmer than 70 degrees but it felt like it was 110. The reward for such a tough day was arriving at the base of Las Torres which signaled the last of the landmarks on our trek.

We were tired.

We woke up at 4:45 am on Day 6 in order to make the nearly vertical climb up to Las Torres in time for sunrise. Seeing the them light up as if they were on fire with the morning light was pretty remarkable and I don't take for granted how special it was to be able to see if from so close up.



The rest of that day was spent working our way back down toward the area where there's a hotel that's a stop for the shuttle buses which take you to the main entrance of the park and back to the friendly confines of Puerto Natales. My lovely girlfriend and I celebrated by sharing what may be the single most delicious beer I've ever drank in the lobby of the hotel while we waited.

I came back to Punta Arenas and was welcomed with a crushingly underwhelming afternoon and immediately wanted to go back. I'm in full countdown mode now... Machu Picchu in less than a month!

I'm going to be a trekker for Halloween.

This Halloween will certainly be one that I'll never forget. It won't be for the reasons you may be thinking upon hearing that though. I won't be exposed to some new kind of cultural rituals or parties that only a Chilean Halloween could present. Instead, I'll be returning to the famed Torres del Paine national park (the picture above is actually from the park) that we had the chance to visit during our first weekend here in the south. This time we'll be attempting to conquer the famous W trek. It's called the W because of the path the trail takes around various peaks, glaciers, lakes and rivers along the way cause it to form the shape of a W. Clever enough for you?

Now this is no day hike. We're planning to arrive in the park to begin the journey on Wednesday and we won't be done until the following Monday morning. Although I'm currently an English teacher, my math skills tell me that's 6 days & 5 nights of camping and hiking. I can't remember ever being on a camping trip quite that long. I was in the Boy Scouts for a few years and I think the longest I'd ever gone was 5 days & 4 nights so this will certainly be a test. I am happy to report that instead of the obligatory weirdoes that made up my Boy Scout troop, I'll have company in the form of Marie (my fantastically, wonderful girlfriend) and 4 other volunteers (who aren't too shabby either). While hiking around and camping for 5 nights with 6 people will be tough, the benefits will surely present themselves as we'll get to hear all kinds of interesting stories.

Hopefully, this time next week I'll be writing a new blog about how awesome the trip was and not about how I know only possess 9 toes due to an unfortunate sleeping bag zipper accident. Plenty of pictures to follow, of course. For now, I've gotta go finish packing.

WISH US LUCK!

The novelty has simply worn off.

I have just about a month left in Punta Arenas. There were times throughout the last 7 months where that phrase seemed as far away as my old bed in Huntington Beach. As we creep closer and closer to our volunteer expiration date, I feel more and more ready to go making it feel still a bit too far away. While that might sound bad, I can assure you that the reasons for those emotions aren't all negative.

I'd be lying if I said everything has been peachy and that I'll miss doing everything I'm doing. There are parts of being a volunteer teacher that are thankless, useless and frustrating. There are parts of living with a family that isn't truly your own that are alienating, embarrassing and depressing. There are also parts of living in a foreign country that are humbling, awkward and sometimes just plain stupid. However, I knew what I was signing up for when I came here so I've tried to take all of it in stride and not ever let it get me down. That strategy is successful most of the time but I still have my days when I just want to feel sorry for myself. I quickly realize how silly it is to be feeling sorry for myself as I've gotten to have some incredible adventures so my mood usually corrects itself... and then I have to drag myself to a class full of 7th graders and we start the cycle all over again.

A lot about life here has simply become the norm, which in and of itself was never the point. I arrived to much excitement from my family, school and community. Everyone was happy to see me, curious to hear me speak my ridiculous Yankee language (they really do refer to it that way sometimes), and excited to introduce me to some of the interesting aspects of Chilean life and culture. Those were absolutely fantastic weeks where time seemed to fly by. To be fair, that may have been because the days actually were flying by since the sun was up for only about 7 hours per day. Now that we're entering spring and I'm entering my 8th and final month, the days are getting incredibly long and they're beginning to feel that way too. Much of the excitement about what I could/would/should do has worn off to a point where I feel like some people don't even notice me anymore. Now let's get one thing straight... I've never been one to be disappointed at not being noticed. I'm definitely not the type to be screaming for attention or feel neglected if I'm not the life the of the party. BUT in this situation, I never expected to be an afterthought. At that point, it feels like we're all kind of missing the point of me being here. I came to make kids excited about English, to expose teachers to new ideas of how to teach and to exchange cultural experiences and traditions with my family and community. As we press on through these last weeks, I feel that much of that has been tossed out the window. I'm not the new, exciting person that just showed up one day. I'm just part of the scenery now which certainly represents my cue to find an exit.

While all of this represents the forces that are pushing me away from all this wind and ice, there are other reasons that make it feel as though the US is ready to pull me back that I consider much more positive and exciting. More than anything else, I'm ready to get back to normal life. While this has been an incredible experience that has allowed me to escape a lot of the boring, monotonous routine that can sneak up on you, I'm ready to be building something again. I'm ready to have a job that I can feel passionate and confident about. I'm ready to start building a life that I can be dedicated to because I know it won't be disappearing any time soon. At the ripe old age of 26, I can't be messing around with excuses about wild oats for much longer. The money supplied by having an actual job will be nice to have too.

While I realize this post isn't the sort of butterflies and rainbows that most would enjoy reading, it's still represents part of this experience. Things have been great but things have also been tough. The bottom of the world isn't a glamorous place to be and neither are screaming, pre-teen girls. Such is life... for a little while longer anyway.

Vivan los mineros! Viva Chile!

Just wanted to drop a quick note to capture the feeling of the day.

In case you haven't watched the news, the 33 miners that had been trapped for more than 2 months underground are making their way out. Starting last night at about 5 pm, all the news stations began covering the last stages of this remarkable rescue. There was only one feed from the top of the hill where the team was working so all the video feeds were the same thing and, more or less, all the reporters were saying the same thing. As if the anticipation wasn't already jacked up enough, many of the stations showed numerous special stories about all different aspects of the experience that these men, their families, the community, the president, the minister of mining and even the media had gone through. At almost midnight, the rescue capsule finally reached the den where the men have been waiting anxiously for nearly 70 days. Some 20 minutes later, the capsule poked out from the hole in the ground and the entire country gasped. The first miner came out of the capsule with a big smile and immediately hugged his crying son. This was just the first of the 33 but everyone suddenly felt such joy at an accomplished mission. They really did it and I still think most people can't quite believe it has worked out as well as it has.

The Chileans are so very proud of this moment and what it means to the history of their country. The news constantly reminds the viewers that the entire world is watching what's coming out of that small hole in the middle of desert of northern Chile. I think we, in the US, take for granted how often our news is everyone's news. In Chile, there isn't much attention given to the comings and goings of life here around the world so this is a truly special moment. I heard one TV reporter mention that this news story will be the thing that people will begin to remember Chile for instead of some of the less favorable memories some may still harbor. Before this, most people around the world who knew Chile was a country and not something you put on your food to make it spicy, might have mentioned the recent earthquake. Obviously, the earthquake was a tragic experience for the people and not something most would classify as a happy memory. Others might think of Salvador Allende, the US backed overthrow of his government and the subsequent presidency of General Pinochet that was filled with oppression and human rights abuses. These definitely aren't the type of associations most Chileans would want you to think about when mentioning their beloved country's name. This incredible rescue is something that every person is proud of. Chile, and it's people, have done something never before accomplished. No one had ever been trapped underground for that amount of time and come out alive. No one had ever been trapped underground that deep and lived to tell the tale. Chile now has 32 heroes of their own (1 is Bolivian). They've shown the world that hope and strength of mind can get us through some of the most desperate situations we could ever imagine. For these men, life will never be the same. In some ways, I think the same could be said for the country.

Chiloé. Not as creepy as it was supposed to be.

Vacation Rewind Part 5 of 6

We'd read and heard quite a bit about Chiloé and it's one-of-a-kind scenery and vibe. Based in hundreds of years of folklore, some believe in the legends of ghost ships filled with witches, evil forest dwarves that take young girls' virginity and a bull with a single golden horn which can cure various ailments. The region in which it exists is characterized by hundreds of islands with the big island of Chiloé being the main attraction. As seems to happen all over the world, when you leave people isolated on islands, strange things seem to invade their thoughts.

I do have a news flash for anyone that's striken with the image of some kind of tropical paradise when they hear the world island. This place is anything but tropical, although some might consider it a kind of paradise. The scenery was amazingly lush and vibrant. The greenery isn't a miracle though as the area's weather can be characterized as rainy with a chance of more rain. The locals said experiencing at least 3 days without some sort of moderate to heavy rainfall was an anomaly most hadn't seen in their lifetimes. Fortunately for us, the weather held up relatively well during our stay. There were even moments when it was down right lovely.



While driving around the island and seeing the sights was pretty impressive, I wasn't picking up on the special vibe I'd read about the area being famous for. In a lot of ways, it reminded me of Punta Arenas and Puerto Natales where we call 'home'. The people were nice, the weather was grey, there were lots of fishing boats that didn't seem too concerned with fishing... what am I missing? Well upon further research, I discovered that most of the people that now live in our region had ancestors that came from Chiloé, thereby bringing their special brand of being right to my doorstep every day. Now if I could only get the rolling hills, forests and beautiful beaches too, we'd really be in business. I've never been to Ireland or Scotland but I feel like the scenery we saw would resemble something one might find in those countries.



The food was certainly one of the more noteworthy aspects of Chiloé and I must admit, it didn't disappoint. Their staple dish is curanto which is a feast unlike any other I've ever heard of. I'm lucky enough to live in a house where curanto is made somewhat regularly and, although it's not made in the traditional way, I can attest to it's deliciousness. The ingredients consist of various kind of shellfish like mussels and oysters as well as others that don't have English names, chicken, chorizo, potatoes, cabbage and a potato pancake-ish thing called chapalele. Traditionally, all these things are placed in a hole in the ground with hot rocks and left alone for a few hours until ready to eat. At my house, it's made in a huge pot as a sort of stew with a little bit of water and a whole bunch of white wine. Drinking the broth has become my favorite part.



I have to send special credit to some street vendors outside the bus station in Castro, the large capital city of Chiloé, for making the most delicious empanada and milcao, which is just like chapalele but fried instead, I've ever had. The empanada I had was filled with apples and tasted like everything a McDonald's baked apple pie should. It was probably about the size of my face and it only cost a dollar. We also got to find 'Mapuche viagra', also known as piure, on a beach outside the city of Ancud. Our tour guide told us that it's supposed to be very healthy to eat raw and described it as not an animal and not a plant but just a thing because it somehow feeds on it's own itself in order to grow. I'm still trying to figure that one out. I couldn't bring myself to eat it because it looked like an old soggy, worn basketball on the outside yet had a tapioca-esque pink and orange inside. I did lick it though. There's a picture to prove it somewhere.

I'm definitely glad we made it to Chiloé and felt it's famous rains dot our foreheads for a few days. The relaxed, kind nature of the people really make it a great place to enjoy life at a slower pace. I loved it for all the reasons I love Punta Arenas and then some.