My business here is done.

The good, the bad and the ugly. That's what I've tried to bring to those of you who followed me throughout this process and I think this last entry from the bottom of the world will have a touch of all of those. While I'll admit that it's been hard to write as much as I should, I like to think I've been nothing but honest and open about the experience so far so here it goes, one more time.

In addition to around 350 new friends on Facebook, I'm taking many things away from Punta Arenas, Chile. I'm taking amazing memories of some of the most beautiful landscapes I'll ever see in my life. I got a chance to go to El Calafate again with Marie's family, who happens to be visiting from the good ol' USA, this past weekend and I was once again blown away by being so close to the dumbfounding Perito Moreno Glacier. It's one small example of how something as natural and untainted as a huge piece of ice can completely trump any 3D special effect in any movie you'll ever see. Patagonia has threatened me with intense storms, icy streets and sidewalks and wind that makes you wish you didn't have a face but it's also rewarded me threefold by offering sights that defy words. Saying they're beautiful and breathtaking simply doesn't do enough. You have to see for yourself.

As cliche as this sounds, I'll be taking away some lessons about who I thought I was and what I think I need to be moving forward. Coming to Chile with the English Opens Doors program gave me the opportunity to live inside a community with a host family that would show me what these people are really about. I pictured myself really getting to know these people and spending almost all my time with them. Unfortunately, that didn't happen. While blame cannot be placed on any one side of that problem, I do feel that circumstances outside my control contributed to me having an experience that didn't go quite as well as it could have. My problems really were minor considering other volunteers had to deal with families that wouldn't even feed them at times but mine were problems nonetheless.

It's fair to say that my life was pretty hot and cold here. During the day, I was a small scale teen idol at school that everyone seemed to care about. Everything I did, said and asked was noticed, examined and questioned. While at home, I felt like the invisible man. As I sit here in my room alone as the clock approaches almost ten o'clock and wonder why we aren't having some sort of last dinner together before I leave first thing in the morning, I'm forced to think about how we got here. I will admit that I'm not a easy person to get close to. It takes time and patience. I'm afraid neither was afforded to me by most of the adults I met while here. I definitely would classify people here as nice and polite but I wouldn't go as far as saying they were caring or welcoming. The language barrier certainly didn't do anyone any favors and it's a shame that I leave this place feeling as though they never really got to know the real me. Now I know I'm not a bad person. A lot of people that I really respect and enjoy seem to like me back so I refuse to think there's something terribly wrong with me. I was never anything but polite, positive and relaxed so the reason for the occasional cold shoulders that I receive here eludes me. No one ever told me about any issues. I feel as though the family I lived with had very busy lives that kept them away from the house quite often. Unfortunately, I wasn't able to develop the same sort of busy life so I found myself sitting in my room studying Spanish with a computer instead. I don't want this to sound as though I'm bad mouthing the host family I stayed with. I truly bear no hard feelings and I wish them nothing but continued happiness and success. I'm extremely grateful the roof, bed, food and comfort that I was lucky to enjoy for the last 8 months but most of the time I felt like an obligation instead of an addition at home. That sucks.

I could have done more. I could have forced myself into more situations and done a better job to show that I wanted to be in the thick of things. I should have. I regret not being more demonstrative and emotive when the opportunities presented themselves. My hesitation was due to the language difficulties, the hurry everyone always seemed to be in and my own deficiencies when it comes to self confidence and pride. It was just a tough match when it came to me and them. The situation called for someone who is willing to literally call for attention and that has never been, and never will be, me. I completely understand why that sort of thing was necessary here but I also don't think there's anything wrong with me for not being able to be that way. We just never found our balance.

On the bright side, I sincerely hope that this experience will allow me to appreciate the people that care about me more than I ever did before. It's easy to take those people for granted until their 7,000 miles away. I can't wait to see my family in a few weeks. Their loving words were always refreshing and I appreciated their emails more than they know. It also applies to someone that was right here with me. Marie has been, and will continue to be, the most important person in the world to me. Her never ending support and genuine sweetness deserves more appreciation than I could ever hope to show. I can't wait to see what the coming months hold for us. Finding her has been the best part of coming to Chile, sin duda.

On that note, it's time to check out of Punta Arenas. I went swimming in the Strait of Magellan today with another volunteer, Chris, and ex-volunteer, Nathaniel, who happened to be passing through town. It was officially the last item on my list of things to do here in the south. Not a bad way to go out, I'd say.

It was cold and difficult but I'm extremely glad I did it.

Mi discursito

Today was my last day of class. How this day arrived so quickly is beyond my realm of comprehension. They had a small assembly with the high schoolers (which represents most of my students) where they gave me the opportunity to say a few words to the girls I've been working with this year. Some of the girls also came up and said a few thank yous and gave me gifts. I even got a little planner with daily quotes from the bible from the head nun... not sure what I'm going to do with that.

At any rate, it was a great day that also was quite sad. I've said it before and I'll say it again. The students are what made me keep going. Without them, I'm not sure I would have made it. It certainly wouldn't have been nearly as fun or rewarding. Whenever I was out of my mind with stress about teachers/home/the Chilean educational system/Spanish, the students are the thing that brought a smile to my face. For that, I'll always hold their memory in a special part of my heart. I know that sounds quite mushy but I've been lucky to have students that seemed to enjoy my company so much. They made my job easier and made my life better.

Anyway, in an effort to preserve the memory of the day, I thought I'd post what I said at the end of our assembly. I'm not going to lie, I had to fight off some tears towards the end. If you can't read Spanish, I guess you'll have to ask me to explain next time you see me... or you can try your luck at translate.google.com.

Primero, quiero decir gracias... muchisma gracias a todos. No puedo agradecerles lo suficiente. Siempre ustedes me han hecho sentir bienvenido y querido. Por eso, voy a tener nada más que recuerdos fantasticos.

Aprender un nuevo idioma es dificil y el aprendizaje de la vida en un pais extranjero es más dificil. A veces me sentía mal porque todo parecío extraño pero siempre ustedes me hicieron sentir mejor con sus palabras buenas y sonrisas hermosas. La verdad es que yo no lo habria logrado sin ustedes.

Yo vine por enseñar ingles y aprender castellano. Mientras espero que todos han aprendido algo de Inglés, realmente espero que todos hemos aprendido algo acerca del mundo. Es mucho más pequeño que todos pensamos. Yo creo que no somos tan diferentes.

Ustedes han sido bendecidos de vivir en un pais hermoso con mucha variedad. Hay que aprovecharlo y verlo. Haganme un favor y disfruten de la belleza que tienen a su alrededor, porque la mayoría de las personas en este mundo no tienen tanta suerte.

Hay un dicho en Inglés que, más o menos, dice “Paso a paso, puede llegar muy lejos”. Deseo que todos tienen el valor y la fortuna de dar muchos pasos en sus vidas. Si los pasos que se dan a los Estados Unidos, recuerda que siempre tendrán un amigo alla.

De nuevo, muchas gracias por todo. Aunque soy de un pais que está muy lejos, una parte de mi siempre será de Magallanes.

To live in a postcard...

The W has been completed. After 6 days of walking totaling around 65 miles traveled, I can unequivocally say that Torres del Paine was an amazing experience that borders on indescribable. Yet I find myself sitting here trying to describe it...

Obligatory ''before'' shot.

Going into Torres del Paine, I wasn't necessarily a rookie. I've been on countless camping trips with my dad, friends and, somewhat regrettably, the Boy Scouts. Setting up tents, rolling up sleeping bags and making sure your head is uphill before you fall asleep are all things I've done many times and have no hesitations about doing. However, I cannot say the same in terms of hiking and trekking... especially for a 6 day trek through one of the more famous national parks in the world. I knew the basics of what I'd need and what kind of experience to expect when sleeping on the ground for consecutive nights but I had no idea just how tough some of it would be. Trekking through the park was probably the most physically demanding thing I've ever done. Of course, there have been times when I've been more tired or worn out in the short term (for example, after long runs or soccer games) but this trek really introduces you to a new level of tired. Walking up and down hills with a pack for 6-7 hours will wear you out even if it's just for one day. If you have to then sleep on the cold ground and get up in the morning ready to do it again, it really starts to break you down. I had the unfortunate fortune of needing to buy a backpack before the trip. For the same reason that you shouldn't buy a new pair of shoes before running a marathon, you shouldn't buy a backpack the day before you leave for a trekking trip. My back and neck were hurting pretty badly after the second day but they eventually toughened up and I was fine by the end. Despite all the physical pain, I managed to have a great time seeing some of the most beautiful things these eyes have ever seen. I think it's appropriate for me to now break the news that I don't have any pictures that. In a strange twist of fate, my camera battery freaked out the night before we left and wouldn't recharge. All the pictures seen here are borrowed from Marie.

We started near Lago Pehoe which is that glacier greenish-blue color that you really have to see to believe. It looks like the color of the ponds at miniature golf courses... that really makes it sound crappy, doesn't it? At any rate, I did lots of obligatory rock skipping and water watching while nestled right next to the massive Paine Grande mountain that holds a few of the glaciers that provide the lake with water.

Paine Grande on the left. Los Cuernos on the right.

From there, we moved around Paine Grande to the absolutely immense Glaciar Grey. A couple of the guys and I decided to take a swim in the lake, justly named Lago Grey. I figured it might be the only chance I get to swim in a lake with a glacier so the hypothermia that threatened seemed worth the risk. Needless to say, it was cold. I was hoping to last at least a couple minutes. As I waded in and felt all the muscles in my body lock up and noticed I was having a hard time yelling to express how cold it was because my lungs wouldn't expand like they're accustomed to, I decided the possibility of literally freezing and bobbing up and down in the lake with the rest of the icebergs wasn't what I wanted from my future. So I lasted a grand total of 25 seconds.




Day 3 brought the unenviable task of walking back around Paine Grande to a campsite sandwiched between it and Los Cuernos del Paine. Because of the shape of the W, there are parts you have to walk twice and I found these parts the most difficult because the excitement of turning a corner and seeing something you haven't seen before doesn't exist anymore. Those hikes just felt like work. We awoke the next day to walk further up between the two peaks into the Valle del Frances. Reaching the end of that trail may have been the most scenic spot of all. You were surrounded by snowcapped peaks, rivers, forest and glaciers. You could also look back out over the southern horizon and see lakes, islands and distant mountain ranges. It was incredible. After descending back to the campsite we had to move around the base of Los Cuernos to another campsite that was tucked right under them. I have to say I like Los Cuernos more than Las Torres, for which the park is named. There's just something about their colors and sharpness that are more striking to me.




Day 5 may have been the most difficult day to complete. That was partly due to the never ending sloping hills that needed to be conquered and also due to the blistering temperatures. It couldn't have been much warmer than 70 degrees but it felt like it was 110. The reward for such a tough day was arriving at the base of Las Torres which signaled the last of the landmarks on our trek.

We were tired.

We woke up at 4:45 am on Day 6 in order to make the nearly vertical climb up to Las Torres in time for sunrise. Seeing the them light up as if they were on fire with the morning light was pretty remarkable and I don't take for granted how special it was to be able to see if from so close up.



The rest of that day was spent working our way back down toward the area where there's a hotel that's a stop for the shuttle buses which take you to the main entrance of the park and back to the friendly confines of Puerto Natales. My lovely girlfriend and I celebrated by sharing what may be the single most delicious beer I've ever drank in the lobby of the hotel while we waited.

I came back to Punta Arenas and was welcomed with a crushingly underwhelming afternoon and immediately wanted to go back. I'm in full countdown mode now... Machu Picchu in less than a month!